The Hardest Day of My Life

I like to think I'm a tough cookie. In my 31 years on this planet, I lost my Dad at age 6, dealt with a chronically ill mother and subsequently landed in many peoples homes during her ill times. I've lost three of my four Grandparents tragically and had many personal pitfalls in my youth as a result of my roller coaster childhood. More recently, I struggled as my husband dealt with his being disabled for a year and a half to do a back injury. 

I have had many happy times times too. It's not all doom and gloom. Many trips, good times with family and friends, a successful job, meeting the man of my dreams, buying a home and having a healthy, beautiful baby boy. After we weathered the storm of Gary's back issues, I felt that from here on out we would probably have an uneventful (so to speak) life. I had paid my lifetime dues of unfair life events.

When I got the news I would have to be on bed rest, I was disappointed, but knew I could handle it. I would do anything for my children. This would just be a speed bump. Then, last week, we got more devastating news.

We went in for the normal mid pregnancy ultrasound that checks the babies anatomy and gender. We were told we were having a girl! I knew in my heart it was a girl and was elated that my gut feeling was on the mark. The ultrasound technician left the room and shortly after the doctor came in.

He bluntly and coldly said, "There is something wrong with your baby." As he silently scanned my belly with the ultrasound wand, I wept. My mind was racing. "Could this issue be fatal for the baby?", I asked. "Yes.", he replied. I was in shock. He went on to mumble as he scanned my belly for several minutes looking for answers. He explained that she has free fluid in her abdomen and part of her intestines had calcified. The mystery of "why" deepened when there were no other abnormalities he could find. I felt a sense of panicked urgency in him as he consulted with another doctor and a geneticist. 

By the end of the appointment that day, I felt confused and emotionally drained. I knew that her issue was rare complicated by the rare reason I was already on bed rest. They gave me a copy of a study on babies that have what our little girl has. The statistics were favorable, but they still didn't know why it was happening and I didn't understand if the statistics looked favorable why all the panicked concern?

I see my regular doctor tomorrow and the specialist again next week with another ultrasound. In the meantime, I cautiously research and post messages on high risk pregnancy message boards. Nobody seems to have much information for me. I feel alone in my struggle to keep this little girl alive and well but I forge on with hope.

I forge on with Hope.

A Comedic Date Night

Friday night was aproaching and for the last couple weeks Jackson decided he'd become an early riser. Like a 5 am early riser. My poor husband Gary was pooped. After the stomach flu hit the house, taking care of a 2 year old that thinks he's a rooster on a farm and a wife who can't leave her bed for long, the guy needed a break.

Gary's Mom lives in the same town as us and has helped us out a lot since Jack was born. Even more so since I've been in bed. So when she graciously offered to have Jack stay at her house for dinner and a sleepover, Gary jumped at the offer. This meant sleeping in!

Gary decided to take full advantage of this opportunity and make it a date night for us. One problem. What sort of date can you have when you are confined to the house? My husband knows the way to my heart is through my pregnant stomach, so he offered to pick up whatever I would like to eat. I eat pretty healthfully for the most part, so much to his surprise, I wanted fried chicken. Fast food fried chicken. He happily agreed to my request and we ate our greasy chicken out of a box at our dining room table.

In addition to my being on bed rest, my doctor advised me not to do too much bending. My swollen belly is very tender and bending over is uncomfortable. Shaving my legs had become a near impossible task. For a few weeks I had been eyeballing my furry gams and thinking up a more long term way to remain hairless.

Aha! I had forgotten that Gary's Mom gave me a waxing kit a few months back. My hairless legs were a possibility! I surely couldn't reach my lower legs, so who could I trust to do it? And who would be willing?

I suggested this to Gary during our date night. He sweetly agreed and even suggested we do it that evening. So he heated up up the wax and got everything set up. I was worried he would be afraid of hurting me and not pull the waxing strip off all the way or do a half effort kinda job. Boy was I wrong. He loved it. Half way through it was apparent he was enjoying it far too much. He started distracting me with stupid jokes and then, booya, he would rip off that waxing strip.

He did a surprisingly good job, found a new secret calling and we laughed till we cried.

No indoor date night is complete without a movie. So we did our usual movie watching routine of starting the movie and me falling asleep 10 minutes into it.

We awoke the next morning and laid in bed talking about how entertaining the previous evening was. Neither one of us expected that a confined evening of greasy cheap food and body grooming would be the most memorable date night we have had to date.