Ghonorrhea, male bathroom habits, and other irrational potty training fears

We have hit a milestone in our house. Potty training time for Jack. I had this idea that this process would take a week at worst and that somehow my kid would be this stellar peeing and pooping genius. That it would be, dare I say, easy. I didn't take into account that I am on bed rest and my training time would be limited and that as a woman there are bathroom habits of males that I just didn't understand. Not to mention this is my first go round with potty training and I had delusions of grandeur.

I started by catching up on the potty training chapter of What To Expect: The Toddler Years and talking with his teacher at school to get tips. I bought a little potty and Jack sat on it and gave it a try. He seemed to like the idea. My kid is a potty using genius! I knew there had to be a next step. A graduation to a real sized toilet and transitioning to the standing stance. After all, what would I do in a public restroom? Whip out my portable mini potty? After a little more research I chose the nudist boot camp approach or as experienced parents may know, strip 'em and get it done on a weekend. Within the first hour he ruined a couple chairs and decided pooping in the backyard grass was the cool new thing to do. Yeah, this Davis bred hippy girl isn't that cool with au natural restroom habits.

I changed my game plan and decided I would take him to the potty in 20 minute intervals. The first time we attempted peeing in the toilet he rested his little fella on the bare, urine coated porceline edge. Ew! This surely would not work in a public situation. My kid was going to contract ghonorrhea for sure if this was his method! Gary walked in the restroom to see how the progress was going only to find me wiping the excess urine off Jack's mini member with toilet paper. I was quickly and firmly instructed that that is not how boys clean off excess urine. I guess the proper technique is to give it a little shake. How would I know? I sit down to pee for heaven's sake.

This new found peeing on the potty brought on another issue. Jack's certainty that pooping on the potty was not for him. He would rather hold it for a few days and quietly sneak into a quiet room for some pooping in the underwear privacy. I felt strongly that I should not allow him to continue this messy trend. I didn't want him to think this was what you do when number two comes calling but I didn't want him whining with belly aches and passing boulders either. Am I ruining my son's colon? Am I somehow instilling more fear of toilets in him? Would I one day see him on some reality TV show with some extreme fear of toilets because of me?

 I'm a person that likes things clean, but not necessarily sterile. After witnessing countless body parts touching the toilet, the germ phob in me was starting to come out. I find myself requesting the toilet be cleaned almost daily and making sure hands are washed extra thorough. I am especially thankful that I am pregnant with a girl now. I have those parts, I can handle the ins and outs of potty training her. I can't wait until Gary finds himself in the spot I was in. Hopefully, feeling a bit lost on what to do with female bathroom habits or maybe years down the line having to buy pads or tampons for her. The playing ground will finally be even in our house. I sure feel grateful for all my parents did for me. Pee and poo covered underwear and all.